Hello one and all....thanks so much for yet another classic Big Night Out last Thursday, it was brilliant! A fantastic turnout (Gerard much missed but skiing was an acceptable excuse, even if it was just down the runway at Gatwick!) and everyone totally Up For It... we even got a rendition of Yellow Bird I seem to recall!!!!!! CLASSIC.
Anyways, as you know I was self-elected Police Constable Williams, ably assisted by Sgt Irving, D I Reason and CSI Davis, purely on the strength of locating a Police Style Notebook in that dodgy chemists on Wood Street - what an emporium that place is........totally recommended for a lunchtime browse......quote of the experience being:
Jo: Oh my god Rachel look, they have Iron On Trouser Pockets! Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? (much laughter)
Rach: Oooh really? I need some of those for Harry!
Anyways, I have as promised revealed the Full Evidence captured in the Police Style Notebook on the occasion of Thursday 10th April 2008:
Location: The Victoria, Victoria Street
Time: 16:30
Offence: Cost of vodka - exorbitant!
Reported by: PC Williams
Time : 17:20
Offence: Sgt Irving declared she would be in work and ok tomorrow. Yeah right!
Reported by: PC Williams
(NOTE: Sgt Irving did indeed appear in work the next day.....investigations are underway as this is such an unusual event we believe she must have a secret twin....)
Time: 17:23
Offence: Daylight on leaving The Victoria, many people assumed it would be dark
Reported by: PC Williams
Location: Longs Bar, Victoria Street
Time: 17:35
Offence: Crime against fashion: Raymondo
Reported by: Sgt Irving
Time: 17:36
Offence: PC Williams assaulted by DI Reason
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 17:50
Offence: Raymondo accused PC Williams of resembling Dimitar Berbabtov, Bulgarian International and Tottenham Hotspur striker.
Reported by: PC Williams
(NOTE: Witness statements are being sought to confirm or deny this allegation - please follow this link to see images of Berbabtov.....the victim is VERY UPSET and thus anyone agreeing with the accusation will be excluded from Independance Day celebrations on 4th July..... you have been warned! http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&rlz=1T4GGLR_enGB268GB268&resnum=0&q=Berbatov&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi )
Time: 18:50
Offence: Suspect Beadle claimed PC Williams 'never said no'
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 19:15
Offence: Suspect Raymondo complained about his seat on the table plan 'big time'
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 22:40
Offence: DI Reason stole the iron-on trouser pockets from Sgt Irving
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 22:55
Occurence: Sally Davis confirmed in role as CSI Davis and promoted to Leadership Team, but won't attend Leadership Team Meetings
That concludes the evidence recorded. What a great night! Here's to the next one....sooner rather than later eh!
Cheers ears PC Williams xxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Hurly Burly Life
Hello all! Again I cannot believe I have not posted anything since 17th Feb, that is terrible! In fact I have just looked up 17th Feb in my diary and it is interesting, life certainly got a bit hectic after that - was working 23 hours a day for Roland Rat; buried my aunt; realised life was too short to have complete mental pygmies like Roland Rat in it; fell out with Roland Rat; attempted reconciliation with Roland Rat (failed); had no job to do; requested voluntary redundancy; stressed over whether they would give me voluntary redundancy; hurrah! they did; oh-my-god-what-have-I-done-taking-voluntary-redundancy; oh-my-god-i-can't-wait-to-get-out-of-this-place - etcetera etcetera etcetera! So, I am now not surprised I have not posted anything in hindsight!
So, here I am some six weeks later and boy has my life changed again (this does seem to be a recurring theme eh). I am now waiting til 14th April when I get served my three months' notice, so have been job hunting for the past few weeks. There seems to be alot of work out there but in my seven year stint with this place I have forgottenwhat a ballsache job hunting is! In that you have to apply for 75 jobs to get 6 interviews out of which you may get 1 call back... I have however redone my CV (according to some online guru who charged me a tenner to say my original one was crap, I was initially high affronted but re-did the thing anyway, then submitted it under a false name and my next tenner returned me the statement 'your cv looks very good' so hopefully I got something right!) and as of this week have started selecting decent local companies I would like to work for and will start sending them my details on spec as of next week.
I have also got back into Running (thanks to Di M) and have done two races in ten days! Both 5 milers, really enjoyed them to the extent I have possibly gone completely mad and entered the Chippenham Half Marathon on 14th September!!! So hopefully Ger will be offering showers and lunch and maybe we can all together on the evening of 14th to celebrate our (hopeful!) race completion and my birthday which is as you all know on 19th.... let me know your thoughts.
My social life has also improved, I have been out 3 times in recent weeks and we have a big works do tomorrow night for the 20 people who have already left, at the Club so I am very excited to be Spending An Evening at the Workingmens Club! Another first...
So, despite all the ups and downs and the threat of no job in 12 weeks, I am happy! The cats are fine and dandy too, growing like mad and have acquired the not-so-delightful habit of bringing me gifts regularly of dead birds which I am not encouraging but they do seem to be very good at this sport! We started off with a blue tit, then went straight up through the ranks to a pigeon, and have now settled on blackbirds as the breed of choice. (It is quite amazing just how much blood a blackbird contains). Bless em.
The garden is looking good too, I have planted honeysuckles, lavendars, saxifrages, hydrangeas, mallow, herbs, rhododendron, buddleia and heathers as well as made my top front lawn circular, so a real Charlie Dimmock in the making (chest aside) (and hair).
I have also been awarded my annual bonus (nice one!) which I have spent approximately 1.25 times (I spent all of it in 2007, cleared all debts and have since treated myself to a new sofa and some new clothes, I deserved SOMETHING this year !!)... and what the hell, you only get made redundant once (she says hopefully!).
So.....a mixed bag but 80% good stuff I think. Hope the same for you lot! I can't wait for next Thursday and our Big Night Out, please bring your diaries so we can get the date set for my Swindon Leaving Do in July (week one). My Stanlow Leaving Do will be week two of course! Take care have great weekends and 'see you next week' ! Love me xxxx
So, here I am some six weeks later and boy has my life changed again (this does seem to be a recurring theme eh). I am now waiting til 14th April when I get served my three months' notice, so have been job hunting for the past few weeks. There seems to be alot of work out there but in my seven year stint with this place I have forgottenwhat a ballsache job hunting is! In that you have to apply for 75 jobs to get 6 interviews out of which you may get 1 call back... I have however redone my CV (according to some online guru who charged me a tenner to say my original one was crap, I was initially high affronted but re-did the thing anyway, then submitted it under a false name and my next tenner returned me the statement 'your cv looks very good' so hopefully I got something right!) and as of this week have started selecting decent local companies I would like to work for and will start sending them my details on spec as of next week.
I have also got back into Running (thanks to Di M) and have done two races in ten days! Both 5 milers, really enjoyed them to the extent I have possibly gone completely mad and entered the Chippenham Half Marathon on 14th September!!! So hopefully Ger will be offering showers and lunch and maybe we can all together on the evening of 14th to celebrate our (hopeful!) race completion and my birthday which is as you all know on 19th.... let me know your thoughts.
My social life has also improved, I have been out 3 times in recent weeks and we have a big works do tomorrow night for the 20 people who have already left, at the Club so I am very excited to be Spending An Evening at the Workingmens Club! Another first...
So, despite all the ups and downs and the threat of no job in 12 weeks, I am happy! The cats are fine and dandy too, growing like mad and have acquired the not-so-delightful habit of bringing me gifts regularly of dead birds which I am not encouraging but they do seem to be very good at this sport! We started off with a blue tit, then went straight up through the ranks to a pigeon, and have now settled on blackbirds as the breed of choice. (It is quite amazing just how much blood a blackbird contains). Bless em.
The garden is looking good too, I have planted honeysuckles, lavendars, saxifrages, hydrangeas, mallow, herbs, rhododendron, buddleia and heathers as well as made my top front lawn circular, so a real Charlie Dimmock in the making (chest aside) (and hair).
I have also been awarded my annual bonus (nice one!) which I have spent approximately 1.25 times (I spent all of it in 2007, cleared all debts and have since treated myself to a new sofa and some new clothes, I deserved SOMETHING this year !!)... and what the hell, you only get made redundant once (she says hopefully!).
So.....a mixed bag but 80% good stuff I think. Hope the same for you lot! I can't wait for next Thursday and our Big Night Out, please bring your diaries so we can get the date set for my Swindon Leaving Do in July (week one). My Stanlow Leaving Do will be week two of course! Take care have great weekends and 'see you next week' ! Love me xxxx
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