Well here I am, the day is finally on my immediate horizon, being My First Day at My New Job.....gulp!
I feel like a kid on the eve of going to Big School for the first time, all nervous and sweaty (nice) and excited and terrified. I have cleaned my house from top to bottom and mowed and weeded the garden and been to Sainsburys by way of distraction, where I bought a coffee machine (my American friend Colby came up this weekend with my niece Charlie, she came over to go to Beijing but her horse went lame so she didn't get the trip, real sad, however I got the silver lining as I got to see her for a few days and boy did we drown our sorrows and party hard!) on Colby's instruction (she asked me why no coffee machine. I replied I don't drink coffee. She asked why. I said I did not like the taste. She said that was because I only had shit instant coffee, no wonder I did not like the taste. I bought a coffee machine, have drunk three mug fulls, and am sort of beginning to maybe like the taste!) so have wasted more time fiddling with that. I have also changed my bed and done three loads of washing. I have filled the car with petrol and watered the plants. I have selected my outfit for the morning (black Ralph Lauren trousers, black t-shirt, funky Betty Barclay checked jacket) and chatted to Gina Randall for a while (who came to drop off a huge good luck card! How lovely is that?). I have packed my briefcase. And now there is nothing left to do bar drink some wine (not too much! No hangover needed on day one!) and write this blog........
So. Here goes for the next chapter in my life. I passed my bike test by the way, first time and everything!! SO CHUFFED. So chuffed. So proud of myself, but more proud of my beautiful 2005 Honda CBF500A motorcycle! She is a real beauty. And my Mum came to stay and rang a friend of hers who put me in touch with a local dealer, Bill Smith of Chester, who my Dad used to race with, and who I had a lovely chat with about Dad and then who gave me TRADE on my bike! How cool is that?! My Mum bloody rocks, she really does. Who elses mum could get them trade terms on a motorbike huh?!?!?!!!
I have had many messages of good luck, from people on holiday in Spain, people 'down South', people 'up here', my neighbours, I am so lucky to have surrounded myself with such thoughtful generous people, thank you one and all!
I will be fine, I know that more than anyone, but being fine does take some deep breaths and some tongue-biting and some exercising my little-used Being Nice gene....so although I will do it it aint always easy! So give me a break if I am not very communicative over the next few weeks, I just need to get my head round my new life for a while. I am not givign up my old life, just going through a concentrated period of adjustment! Normal service will be resumed I promise.
So, have yourself fantastic Augusts one and all, and I will be back to share tales of the Froggies in due course! Looking forward to it already. Love me xxxxxxx
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Jo Williams Independance Day..The Aftermath
Hello all. I cannot believe I have not posted a blog since April 15th! I am so sorry. (Though maybe you are not...) Anyways, as I was rendered totally speechless last Friday on receipt of my gorgeous and multiple gifts, I thought the least I could do was make a bit of an effort to share my feelings with you some other way, hence this blog....read on and weep in the weepy places if you like!!
I joined Castrol on Wednesday 19th February 2001. My computer arrived five days later, so the first few days were hellishly boring! We were in Phase II back then, and I was employed for three weeks by Mark Hodgson to help sort the admin backlog in Workshop Marketing. (Quite how anyone thought I was going to do this in three weeks when the first week I was computer-less I have no idea, I guess this gives you some idea of how bloody unorganised the people were!!). The Milton Keynes lot had just been brought in, so the likes of Paul Tuohy, Jason Suckley and Dave Martyn were appearing in the office for the first time. I was sat next to David Foster, who was a man of as few words then as he is now, and diagonally across from Liz Woods, who was away skiing for the first two weeks I was here and who, upon her return to work, took one look at me and decided she despised me! (A feeling I fully reciprocated at the time :-) Then Paul Tuohy (Captain Darling as we called him in later years) sat opposite me and I really could not wait for the temporary assignment to be over so I could escape back to reality!
I smoked in those days so spent most of my time walking to the fag room, which was quite a hike from Phase II and involved going past the private dining rooms and then through the restaurant, the only good thing about the length of this trip being by the time you got there it made all sorts of sense to stay for a couple of fags!! By the Friday however I was becoming suicidal with boredom so approached the very scary looking lady who obviously ran things who went by the name of Val Stump and asked if there was anything I could do to help her. She looked around and said the only thing she had I could do was sort the stationery cupboard out (which was the size of a one bed flat and would of housed 8 Polish people). I instantly agreed, she said she was only joking, she couldn't possibly ask someone to do that, to which I pointed out the alternative was yet another 4 hours in the 'company' of David Foster and Paul Tuohy, or another 4 hours of smoking myself to death which was incidentally starting to cost me a fortune. Val shook her head and said 'well, if you put it like that I guess I am doing you a favour!'
So, two lovely days spent sorting the stationery cupboard out, which got Val in loads of trouble as people like Bozzie and Richard Hunt kept telling her she really shouldn't be asking temps to do such menial work!! She kept saying I asked to do it to which I just raised an eyebrow - brilliant set up! The start of a friendship for life :-)
So time progressed and being naturally work-hungry I soon became gainfully employed for the forseeable future, what with most of the permanent staff being naturally work-shy ;-) Tasks ranged from analysing data for Bozzie and Jason for Project Alchemy (a nightmare), collecting endless visitors from Main Reception for Sally Edwards (which Maureen bollocked her for after two weeks and said she was abusing my good nature), and taking on any piece of crap that Liz didn't fancy doing .... I do remember her giving me the Bonus scheme to administer, which was painfully admin-heavy, so I spent loads of time improving it and made it much better, at which point she decided she would have it back. I decided she wouldn't, a little stand off was had and the upshot was we both had a little more respect for each other and ended up being mates....classic.
We moved to Phase I on 13th March, I remember there being skips everywhere full of Castrol branded goodies that I shamelessly took home, cases and cases of oil that had been ordered in for some reason or another and that no one wanted, my Dad was bloody delighted! And in fact my brother gave me back a pack of motorcycle oil a few weeks ago that I gave to Dad back in 2001, which my brother inherited and now it has come full circle! Talk abpout a brand for life!
Lord Browne came to site on 10 July, I got death stares from loads of people as we were all walking down the stairs to the restaurant for the Townhall and he was walking up, everyone ignored him bar me, the gobby temp, who said 'good morning and welcome to Swndon' to which he replied 'good morning and thank you', I was so chuffed and people around me were furious! 'You are just a temp' !!! He gave a brilliant speech without notes, the highlight for me mind you being Dave Martyn falling asleep despite being in the front row!!
I also met Ralfy Baby (aka Ralf Schumacher) at the Williams Factory that year, a trip I thoroughly enjoyed, and made my first visit to Stanlow on July 30 as part of Quantum (maybe that was when I met Tony Lloyd??!!!!) And I went to Silverstone to decorate the box....it was a wet Wednesday and as I was in the box I heard cars going by. I went outside and there were quite a few people watching, I asked the bloke nearest to me whether they were Formula Three cars. "No love" he replied. "That was Mika Haakkinen. They are tyre testing the Formula One cars". WOW! I immediately did the classic, phoned my dad as one of them screamed by and said "guess where I am ? " Brilliant.
2002 I became a permanent member of Workshop Marketing, and bought my flat in Wootton Bassett, moving in on May 28th 2002, such a big day for me! A real grown up with a real job and a real mortgage.... That was the year of the Boat Trip up the Thames where everyone got wasted, and it was also the year that Connie Bianco officially left!!!! In the October I took my Sales Secondment and became the First Woman in the North (well, after Peter Ewen anyway :-)
and spent six months living in Yorkshire and commuting back to Basingstoke most weekends as I was seeing Ceri in those days... talk about a long distance relationship!
2003 was the Holland conference, I will never forget Paul Flanagan 'taking in some fresh air' by simply walking the circular doors through 360 degrees because it was snowing outside! Never broke his stride. Also the club we went to after the 70s themed night, four Elvis's in one club, the locals could not believe it! And Dave Woodman trying to swap a stick-on sideburn (he being one of the Elvis) for a hotdog on the way home. Pure class. I came back to Swindon in May and started my fateful role reporting to that bitch No Neck in September.....in my defence I was suffering from depression and was not in a fit state to make sensible decisions!
Site Audits came to life in 2003, Dennis Barnsley and I had some humdingers of arguments, what a man he was. Carole Cooper left in October and I had a Budget Meeting with Blaine and Vicky on 7th November apparently! Vicky and I went to Antwerp and delivered Fabriq to them, that was a great laugh, we flew from London City and went straight to the bar when we got there, then got straight on the champagne when we reached the hotel! Happy days. Blaine had his birthday do at Vic's (Pentridge Close), I remember I was driving my sister's Saab cos my Golf must have broken (again), I decided to walk to the local shop to get batteries for Blaine's present (a remote fart machine as I recall) and terrified myself by going through the underpass by the Covingham Hen!!
January 8th 2004 I Gave Up Fags, had a £50 bet with David Goosey that I wouldn't survive the Conference without smoking...which I won, then got over excited and matched his £50 with my own! Doofus. I got sent on a weeks training course to Majorca by No Neck to learn IMS Auditing - funny how that course, which I was not supposed to go on and had absolutely no interest in doing, led to my current career choice - just shows you never know what fate has in store for you. I also organised that Self Defence course where I got all upset when the trainer pretended to attack Fran!!! I started running too in order to combat the effects of my newly-acquired appetite of a horse due to lack of nicotine. I got My Own Temp to process the bloody site audits, which had taken over my life, and John Thompson left in the April. I went auditing in Romainia and we had Golf Lessons at which I was useless! The professional actually stated he hoped I never darkened his golf club again... brilliant. Hortensia made her infamous 'Moggy' comment which had me and Chris Reason searching the club house for a loose cat only to work out after several minutes she meant the weather was 'muggy' :-) We laughed about that only on Friday! I feel really bad not inviting her, I completely forgot! I will email her....
The Olympics were in Athens and my sister had trained one of the Kiwi horses and was out there, I remember Val coming in and saying she watched ALL the showjumping but never saw 'Nugget' (the horse in question), to which I had to advise Nugget was his stable name and his proper name was Glengarrick........we just wet ourselves laughing. I got seconded against my will to work with Alan Hodges (or Old Father Time as we called him) in getting the UK through their external audit - yet another one of those occurences that has had a massive effect on my life! So it was a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire for me boss-wise, from No Neck to Old Father Time...jesus I must have been bad in a previous life!! I remember going to Dublin with him for three days, by the end of which I was ready to kill him, which I damn nearly did at Birmingham airport as I marched off at 100 miles an hour back to the car, just desperate to get home, only to find him wheezing along behind me clutching his chest having recently had bypass surgery and not being up to my speed!!! Classic. Thought the bugger was going to cark it and delay my getting home even more!!!
2005 was a tough year with my beloved father and his cancer, although he made it so easy for us with his black humour, we all laughed our way throughout his decline made sure we enjoyed every goddamned minute we could. I will never forget my mother saying "Now Christopher, please stop telling people you are dying when they ask how you are, they don't know how to deal with it and it is down right embarrassing!". We lost him on 21 June, he was such a great man, I miss him every day. Work were amazing and I had as much time as I needed for which I remain eternally grateful, it's times like that that you realise just how good a place it can be. You guys were all amazing too, especially Mrs Beadle, you helped me through a very tough time with love and friendship and I will always be in your debt for that. Thank you. He would have loved you all too.
14 January that year I got my allotment, Vicky had a Virgin Vie party on 19th and Chris Beadle had her Pasta Night on 11 February, for which I made apple pie and where Connie bought along her daughter as well as her vibrator!! Wierd. On Friday 15 April I had a meeting with Rachel to learn how to do Mail Merge (Rach, your training sucked cos I still can't do them!!). August I went to Spain for a week with Val, Andrea and Jo Wallace which was heaven. I put my flat on the market in October, full of plans to move to Bristol to be closer to my Mum. She had a new knee in November and I spent a week working from her house looking after her, it snowed like mad and I had to take her to physio, against her will, in her brand new car, down the 1 in 10 drive that was sheet ice......talk about scary!
2006 was the year of the travel ban which we were all furious about at the time, the Conference was in Chester and it was also the year of the first big Reorg - 'Fit To Lead'...EPF forms and Sales reorgs, that was where Duncan Paget came into my life with his spreadsheets and Tracker Forms, and where Stanlow came into my life as a result of my getting the new role of IMS Manager. (Which funnily enough Sarah Vaughan went for too and refused to speak to me when I got it!!) I first came up here on 4th May to meet my new boss Duncan. Charlie Farlie (my niece) went to Australia on 14 May, she seemed so young to be going off round the world (19), and it was the football World Cup, lots of David Beckham, hmm hmmmmm! I spent the year commuting up here each week and living in the Holiday Inn Ellesmere Port, and Raymondo left the firm, with a blinding do at the Ivy in Wroughton on 29 September, that speech was superb Ray, absolutely superb.
Mum sold the family house, after a year of me and my brother working away to sort out Dad's scrapyard collection (bless), and we moved her into her new smaller house nearer the village in October. I had taken my flat off the market at Easter and was no longer on the Move To Bristol plan as Mum was as ever a star and was totally sorted. I did my first ever 10k race (Lethbridge) and my second in Bromham with Gerard and Jason Cox. I think this was my inaugural FC&A Christmas Lunch too, a major achievement in my social life - thank you one and all!
January 2007 saw me putting my flat back on the market and going to the Conference in Warwick, where I famously 'peaked a little early' and fell asleep at the dinner table on Sean Doherty's shoulder. It also brought me my first ever football match, Man U at home, can't remember who we played but I know we won! I loved it. I went to America for a week in March for my hols which was ace, and on 22 March I took receipt of my very own Company Car, one Ford Focus ST3, what a day that was!! My beloved VR6 Golf went into storage in Ceri's garage until my brother took custody in September. I never forget driving out of Wakefield House in my ST with Vic alongside me in the Metro, shouting 'nice wheels', I thought I would burst with pride. Charlie Farlie came hom from Australia in April and Mrs B left on 27 April with another blinding do at the Ivy. Ceri kept calling Bryan Taylor Bwyan, and Dave Martyn fell off the ramp and into a hanging basket, then kept groping people in photographs, then fell asleep! Reaso was the big 40 and it was the summer of floods. I sold the flat on 6 July and had my offer acceoted on Vale Road, Ellesmere Port on 12 July.....I was keen to move! Blaine and Sam had their Hag Do at the Cricket Club and I moved Up North on 31 August.
I did loads of trips that quarter, Portugal and France and Poland and Blackpool (which was horrid!) and Liverpool and Las Vegas! Which was amazing. Cost me a fortune but it was a fantastic trip and I had a ball, drank for 36 hours straight for Colby's birthday, took me a full week to get over. Came home, had a crap Christmas as was ill (unable to make FC&A Christmas Lunch - that is ILL) and my family were massive pains in the bum....however had decided to take my voluntary redundancy and basically that decision is why we are where we are today, me working my last ever Tuesday for BP!
2008 has been fairly manic even by my standards, what with the fateful Logistics job for Roland Rat, and the longest most demoralising serving-of-notice ever....I have of course kept myself entertained with a combination of dabbling in internet dating, stepping up my running massively with Dianne Markey, socialising like buggery - ChesterFest was the ultimate, plus many a fab local night out with Julie Price, and learning to ride a motorbike (please PLEASE all keep your fingers crossed for July 17th which is my test! I just know I am going to cock it up and fail, especially if my lesson yesterday was anything to go by, I was a disaster!). Plus hours and hours of internet shopping...in fact I just put my lovely new private plates (FIG 4002) onto my lovely Golf GTI T.... the plates mean nothing but they are non-age related and so much nicer than the old Y reg. Happy days.
Anyways my lovely people I am sure most of you have fallen alseep by now, so I will wrap up. In a nutshell, the past seven-and-a-bit years have quite simply been the best of my life, for which I thank each and every one of you. I am very excited to be taking this next big step, it feels absolutely right, but I am only able to to be brave enough to see it through cos I know I have all your support - which is priceless. We are going to stay in touch of course, I will blog much more regularly (and with much shorter posts I promise!) and I am already looking forward to "ChesterFest2 - The Return (Wales Welcomes You)" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for becoming my friends, for making my leaving do so much fun, for all your lovely messages in my card and for the generosity of your presents. Most of all, thank you for putting up with me over the years and for pretending support for each and every one of my fads, you know much I need the pretend support and that is what I love about you all the most, the fact you indulge me!!!!
I am going before I cry. This is only adieu and not au revoir. Love me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I joined Castrol on Wednesday 19th February 2001. My computer arrived five days later, so the first few days were hellishly boring! We were in Phase II back then, and I was employed for three weeks by Mark Hodgson to help sort the admin backlog in Workshop Marketing. (Quite how anyone thought I was going to do this in three weeks when the first week I was computer-less I have no idea, I guess this gives you some idea of how bloody unorganised the people were!!). The Milton Keynes lot had just been brought in, so the likes of Paul Tuohy, Jason Suckley and Dave Martyn were appearing in the office for the first time. I was sat next to David Foster, who was a man of as few words then as he is now, and diagonally across from Liz Woods, who was away skiing for the first two weeks I was here and who, upon her return to work, took one look at me and decided she despised me! (A feeling I fully reciprocated at the time :-) Then Paul Tuohy (Captain Darling as we called him in later years) sat opposite me and I really could not wait for the temporary assignment to be over so I could escape back to reality!
I smoked in those days so spent most of my time walking to the fag room, which was quite a hike from Phase II and involved going past the private dining rooms and then through the restaurant, the only good thing about the length of this trip being by the time you got there it made all sorts of sense to stay for a couple of fags!! By the Friday however I was becoming suicidal with boredom so approached the very scary looking lady who obviously ran things who went by the name of Val Stump and asked if there was anything I could do to help her. She looked around and said the only thing she had I could do was sort the stationery cupboard out (which was the size of a one bed flat and would of housed 8 Polish people). I instantly agreed, she said she was only joking, she couldn't possibly ask someone to do that, to which I pointed out the alternative was yet another 4 hours in the 'company' of David Foster and Paul Tuohy, or another 4 hours of smoking myself to death which was incidentally starting to cost me a fortune. Val shook her head and said 'well, if you put it like that I guess I am doing you a favour!'
So, two lovely days spent sorting the stationery cupboard out, which got Val in loads of trouble as people like Bozzie and Richard Hunt kept telling her she really shouldn't be asking temps to do such menial work!! She kept saying I asked to do it to which I just raised an eyebrow - brilliant set up! The start of a friendship for life :-)
So time progressed and being naturally work-hungry I soon became gainfully employed for the forseeable future, what with most of the permanent staff being naturally work-shy ;-) Tasks ranged from analysing data for Bozzie and Jason for Project Alchemy (a nightmare), collecting endless visitors from Main Reception for Sally Edwards (which Maureen bollocked her for after two weeks and said she was abusing my good nature), and taking on any piece of crap that Liz didn't fancy doing .... I do remember her giving me the Bonus scheme to administer, which was painfully admin-heavy, so I spent loads of time improving it and made it much better, at which point she decided she would have it back. I decided she wouldn't, a little stand off was had and the upshot was we both had a little more respect for each other and ended up being mates....classic.
We moved to Phase I on 13th March, I remember there being skips everywhere full of Castrol branded goodies that I shamelessly took home, cases and cases of oil that had been ordered in for some reason or another and that no one wanted, my Dad was bloody delighted! And in fact my brother gave me back a pack of motorcycle oil a few weeks ago that I gave to Dad back in 2001, which my brother inherited and now it has come full circle! Talk abpout a brand for life!
Lord Browne came to site on 10 July, I got death stares from loads of people as we were all walking down the stairs to the restaurant for the Townhall and he was walking up, everyone ignored him bar me, the gobby temp, who said 'good morning and welcome to Swndon' to which he replied 'good morning and thank you', I was so chuffed and people around me were furious! 'You are just a temp' !!! He gave a brilliant speech without notes, the highlight for me mind you being Dave Martyn falling asleep despite being in the front row!!
I also met Ralfy Baby (aka Ralf Schumacher) at the Williams Factory that year, a trip I thoroughly enjoyed, and made my first visit to Stanlow on July 30 as part of Quantum (maybe that was when I met Tony Lloyd??!!!!) And I went to Silverstone to decorate the box....it was a wet Wednesday and as I was in the box I heard cars going by. I went outside and there were quite a few people watching, I asked the bloke nearest to me whether they were Formula Three cars. "No love" he replied. "That was Mika Haakkinen. They are tyre testing the Formula One cars". WOW! I immediately did the classic, phoned my dad as one of them screamed by and said "guess where I am ? " Brilliant.
2002 I became a permanent member of Workshop Marketing, and bought my flat in Wootton Bassett, moving in on May 28th 2002, such a big day for me! A real grown up with a real job and a real mortgage.... That was the year of the Boat Trip up the Thames where everyone got wasted, and it was also the year that Connie Bianco officially left!!!! In the October I took my Sales Secondment and became the First Woman in the North (well, after Peter Ewen anyway :-)
and spent six months living in Yorkshire and commuting back to Basingstoke most weekends as I was seeing Ceri in those days... talk about a long distance relationship!
2003 was the Holland conference, I will never forget Paul Flanagan 'taking in some fresh air' by simply walking the circular doors through 360 degrees because it was snowing outside! Never broke his stride. Also the club we went to after the 70s themed night, four Elvis's in one club, the locals could not believe it! And Dave Woodman trying to swap a stick-on sideburn (he being one of the Elvis) for a hotdog on the way home. Pure class. I came back to Swindon in May and started my fateful role reporting to that bitch No Neck in September.....in my defence I was suffering from depression and was not in a fit state to make sensible decisions!
Site Audits came to life in 2003, Dennis Barnsley and I had some humdingers of arguments, what a man he was. Carole Cooper left in October and I had a Budget Meeting with Blaine and Vicky on 7th November apparently! Vicky and I went to Antwerp and delivered Fabriq to them, that was a great laugh, we flew from London City and went straight to the bar when we got there, then got straight on the champagne when we reached the hotel! Happy days. Blaine had his birthday do at Vic's (Pentridge Close), I remember I was driving my sister's Saab cos my Golf must have broken (again), I decided to walk to the local shop to get batteries for Blaine's present (a remote fart machine as I recall) and terrified myself by going through the underpass by the Covingham Hen!!
January 8th 2004 I Gave Up Fags, had a £50 bet with David Goosey that I wouldn't survive the Conference without smoking...which I won, then got over excited and matched his £50 with my own! Doofus. I got sent on a weeks training course to Majorca by No Neck to learn IMS Auditing - funny how that course, which I was not supposed to go on and had absolutely no interest in doing, led to my current career choice - just shows you never know what fate has in store for you. I also organised that Self Defence course where I got all upset when the trainer pretended to attack Fran!!! I started running too in order to combat the effects of my newly-acquired appetite of a horse due to lack of nicotine. I got My Own Temp to process the bloody site audits, which had taken over my life, and John Thompson left in the April. I went auditing in Romainia and we had Golf Lessons at which I was useless! The professional actually stated he hoped I never darkened his golf club again... brilliant. Hortensia made her infamous 'Moggy' comment which had me and Chris Reason searching the club house for a loose cat only to work out after several minutes she meant the weather was 'muggy' :-) We laughed about that only on Friday! I feel really bad not inviting her, I completely forgot! I will email her....
The Olympics were in Athens and my sister had trained one of the Kiwi horses and was out there, I remember Val coming in and saying she watched ALL the showjumping but never saw 'Nugget' (the horse in question), to which I had to advise Nugget was his stable name and his proper name was Glengarrick........we just wet ourselves laughing. I got seconded against my will to work with Alan Hodges (or Old Father Time as we called him) in getting the UK through their external audit - yet another one of those occurences that has had a massive effect on my life! So it was a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire for me boss-wise, from No Neck to Old Father Time...jesus I must have been bad in a previous life!! I remember going to Dublin with him for three days, by the end of which I was ready to kill him, which I damn nearly did at Birmingham airport as I marched off at 100 miles an hour back to the car, just desperate to get home, only to find him wheezing along behind me clutching his chest having recently had bypass surgery and not being up to my speed!!! Classic. Thought the bugger was going to cark it and delay my getting home even more!!!
2005 was a tough year with my beloved father and his cancer, although he made it so easy for us with his black humour, we all laughed our way throughout his decline made sure we enjoyed every goddamned minute we could. I will never forget my mother saying "Now Christopher, please stop telling people you are dying when they ask how you are, they don't know how to deal with it and it is down right embarrassing!". We lost him on 21 June, he was such a great man, I miss him every day. Work were amazing and I had as much time as I needed for which I remain eternally grateful, it's times like that that you realise just how good a place it can be. You guys were all amazing too, especially Mrs Beadle, you helped me through a very tough time with love and friendship and I will always be in your debt for that. Thank you. He would have loved you all too.
14 January that year I got my allotment, Vicky had a Virgin Vie party on 19th and Chris Beadle had her Pasta Night on 11 February, for which I made apple pie and where Connie bought along her daughter as well as her vibrator!! Wierd. On Friday 15 April I had a meeting with Rachel to learn how to do Mail Merge (Rach, your training sucked cos I still can't do them!!). August I went to Spain for a week with Val, Andrea and Jo Wallace which was heaven. I put my flat on the market in October, full of plans to move to Bristol to be closer to my Mum. She had a new knee in November and I spent a week working from her house looking after her, it snowed like mad and I had to take her to physio, against her will, in her brand new car, down the 1 in 10 drive that was sheet ice......talk about scary!
2006 was the year of the travel ban which we were all furious about at the time, the Conference was in Chester and it was also the year of the first big Reorg - 'Fit To Lead'...EPF forms and Sales reorgs, that was where Duncan Paget came into my life with his spreadsheets and Tracker Forms, and where Stanlow came into my life as a result of my getting the new role of IMS Manager. (Which funnily enough Sarah Vaughan went for too and refused to speak to me when I got it!!) I first came up here on 4th May to meet my new boss Duncan. Charlie Farlie (my niece) went to Australia on 14 May, she seemed so young to be going off round the world (19), and it was the football World Cup, lots of David Beckham, hmm hmmmmm! I spent the year commuting up here each week and living in the Holiday Inn Ellesmere Port, and Raymondo left the firm, with a blinding do at the Ivy in Wroughton on 29 September, that speech was superb Ray, absolutely superb.
Mum sold the family house, after a year of me and my brother working away to sort out Dad's scrapyard collection (bless), and we moved her into her new smaller house nearer the village in October. I had taken my flat off the market at Easter and was no longer on the Move To Bristol plan as Mum was as ever a star and was totally sorted. I did my first ever 10k race (Lethbridge) and my second in Bromham with Gerard and Jason Cox. I think this was my inaugural FC&A Christmas Lunch too, a major achievement in my social life - thank you one and all!
January 2007 saw me putting my flat back on the market and going to the Conference in Warwick, where I famously 'peaked a little early' and fell asleep at the dinner table on Sean Doherty's shoulder. It also brought me my first ever football match, Man U at home, can't remember who we played but I know we won! I loved it. I went to America for a week in March for my hols which was ace, and on 22 March I took receipt of my very own Company Car, one Ford Focus ST3, what a day that was!! My beloved VR6 Golf went into storage in Ceri's garage until my brother took custody in September. I never forget driving out of Wakefield House in my ST with Vic alongside me in the Metro, shouting 'nice wheels', I thought I would burst with pride. Charlie Farlie came hom from Australia in April and Mrs B left on 27 April with another blinding do at the Ivy. Ceri kept calling Bryan Taylor Bwyan, and Dave Martyn fell off the ramp and into a hanging basket, then kept groping people in photographs, then fell asleep! Reaso was the big 40 and it was the summer of floods. I sold the flat on 6 July and had my offer acceoted on Vale Road, Ellesmere Port on 12 July.....I was keen to move! Blaine and Sam had their Hag Do at the Cricket Club and I moved Up North on 31 August.
I did loads of trips that quarter, Portugal and France and Poland and Blackpool (which was horrid!) and Liverpool and Las Vegas! Which was amazing. Cost me a fortune but it was a fantastic trip and I had a ball, drank for 36 hours straight for Colby's birthday, took me a full week to get over. Came home, had a crap Christmas as was ill (unable to make FC&A Christmas Lunch - that is ILL) and my family were massive pains in the bum....however had decided to take my voluntary redundancy and basically that decision is why we are where we are today, me working my last ever Tuesday for BP!
2008 has been fairly manic even by my standards, what with the fateful Logistics job for Roland Rat, and the longest most demoralising serving-of-notice ever....I have of course kept myself entertained with a combination of dabbling in internet dating, stepping up my running massively with Dianne Markey, socialising like buggery - ChesterFest was the ultimate, plus many a fab local night out with Julie Price, and learning to ride a motorbike (please PLEASE all keep your fingers crossed for July 17th which is my test! I just know I am going to cock it up and fail, especially if my lesson yesterday was anything to go by, I was a disaster!). Plus hours and hours of internet shopping...in fact I just put my lovely new private plates (FIG 4002) onto my lovely Golf GTI T.... the plates mean nothing but they are non-age related and so much nicer than the old Y reg. Happy days.
Anyways my lovely people I am sure most of you have fallen alseep by now, so I will wrap up. In a nutshell, the past seven-and-a-bit years have quite simply been the best of my life, for which I thank each and every one of you. I am very excited to be taking this next big step, it feels absolutely right, but I am only able to to be brave enough to see it through cos I know I have all your support - which is priceless. We are going to stay in touch of course, I will blog much more regularly (and with much shorter posts I promise!) and I am already looking forward to "ChesterFest2 - The Return (Wales Welcomes You)" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for becoming my friends, for making my leaving do so much fun, for all your lovely messages in my card and for the generosity of your presents. Most of all, thank you for putting up with me over the years and for pretending support for each and every one of my fads, you know much I need the pretend support and that is what I love about you all the most, the fact you indulge me!!!!
I am going before I cry. This is only adieu and not au revoir. Love me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Police Evidence!
Hello one and all....thanks so much for yet another classic Big Night Out last Thursday, it was brilliant! A fantastic turnout (Gerard much missed but skiing was an acceptable excuse, even if it was just down the runway at Gatwick!) and everyone totally Up For It... we even got a rendition of Yellow Bird I seem to recall!!!!!! CLASSIC.
Anyways, as you know I was self-elected Police Constable Williams, ably assisted by Sgt Irving, D I Reason and CSI Davis, purely on the strength of locating a Police Style Notebook in that dodgy chemists on Wood Street - what an emporium that place is........totally recommended for a lunchtime browse......quote of the experience being:
Jo: Oh my god Rachel look, they have Iron On Trouser Pockets! Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? (much laughter)
Rach: Oooh really? I need some of those for Harry!
Anyways, I have as promised revealed the Full Evidence captured in the Police Style Notebook on the occasion of Thursday 10th April 2008:
Location: The Victoria, Victoria Street
Time: 16:30
Offence: Cost of vodka - exorbitant!
Reported by: PC Williams
Time : 17:20
Offence: Sgt Irving declared she would be in work and ok tomorrow. Yeah right!
Reported by: PC Williams
(NOTE: Sgt Irving did indeed appear in work the next day.....investigations are underway as this is such an unusual event we believe she must have a secret twin....)
Time: 17:23
Offence: Daylight on leaving The Victoria, many people assumed it would be dark
Reported by: PC Williams
Location: Longs Bar, Victoria Street
Time: 17:35
Offence: Crime against fashion: Raymondo
Reported by: Sgt Irving
Time: 17:36
Offence: PC Williams assaulted by DI Reason
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 17:50
Offence: Raymondo accused PC Williams of resembling Dimitar Berbabtov, Bulgarian International and Tottenham Hotspur striker.
Reported by: PC Williams
(NOTE: Witness statements are being sought to confirm or deny this allegation - please follow this link to see images of Berbabtov.....the victim is VERY UPSET and thus anyone agreeing with the accusation will be excluded from Independance Day celebrations on 4th July..... you have been warned! http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&rlz=1T4GGLR_enGB268GB268&resnum=0&q=Berbatov&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi )
Time: 18:50
Offence: Suspect Beadle claimed PC Williams 'never said no'
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 19:15
Offence: Suspect Raymondo complained about his seat on the table plan 'big time'
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 22:40
Offence: DI Reason stole the iron-on trouser pockets from Sgt Irving
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 22:55
Occurence: Sally Davis confirmed in role as CSI Davis and promoted to Leadership Team, but won't attend Leadership Team Meetings
That concludes the evidence recorded. What a great night! Here's to the next one....sooner rather than later eh!
Cheers ears PC Williams xxxxxxxxxxx
Anyways, as you know I was self-elected Police Constable Williams, ably assisted by Sgt Irving, D I Reason and CSI Davis, purely on the strength of locating a Police Style Notebook in that dodgy chemists on Wood Street - what an emporium that place is........totally recommended for a lunchtime browse......quote of the experience being:
Jo: Oh my god Rachel look, they have Iron On Trouser Pockets! Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? (much laughter)
Rach: Oooh really? I need some of those for Harry!
Anyways, I have as promised revealed the Full Evidence captured in the Police Style Notebook on the occasion of Thursday 10th April 2008:
Location: The Victoria, Victoria Street
Time: 16:30
Offence: Cost of vodka - exorbitant!
Reported by: PC Williams
Time : 17:20
Offence: Sgt Irving declared she would be in work and ok tomorrow. Yeah right!
Reported by: PC Williams
(NOTE: Sgt Irving did indeed appear in work the next day.....investigations are underway as this is such an unusual event we believe she must have a secret twin....)
Time: 17:23
Offence: Daylight on leaving The Victoria, many people assumed it would be dark
Reported by: PC Williams
Location: Longs Bar, Victoria Street
Time: 17:35
Offence: Crime against fashion: Raymondo
Reported by: Sgt Irving
Time: 17:36
Offence: PC Williams assaulted by DI Reason
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 17:50
Offence: Raymondo accused PC Williams of resembling Dimitar Berbabtov, Bulgarian International and Tottenham Hotspur striker.
Reported by: PC Williams
(NOTE: Witness statements are being sought to confirm or deny this allegation - please follow this link to see images of Berbabtov.....the victim is VERY UPSET and thus anyone agreeing with the accusation will be excluded from Independance Day celebrations on 4th July..... you have been warned! http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&rlz=1T4GGLR_enGB268GB268&resnum=0&q=Berbatov&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi )
Time: 18:50
Offence: Suspect Beadle claimed PC Williams 'never said no'
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 19:15
Offence: Suspect Raymondo complained about his seat on the table plan 'big time'
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 22:40
Offence: DI Reason stole the iron-on trouser pockets from Sgt Irving
Reported by: PC Williams
Time: 22:55
Occurence: Sally Davis confirmed in role as CSI Davis and promoted to Leadership Team, but won't attend Leadership Team Meetings
That concludes the evidence recorded. What a great night! Here's to the next one....sooner rather than later eh!
Cheers ears PC Williams xxxxxxxxxxx
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Hurly Burly Life
Hello all! Again I cannot believe I have not posted anything since 17th Feb, that is terrible! In fact I have just looked up 17th Feb in my diary and it is interesting, life certainly got a bit hectic after that - was working 23 hours a day for Roland Rat; buried my aunt; realised life was too short to have complete mental pygmies like Roland Rat in it; fell out with Roland Rat; attempted reconciliation with Roland Rat (failed); had no job to do; requested voluntary redundancy; stressed over whether they would give me voluntary redundancy; hurrah! they did; oh-my-god-what-have-I-done-taking-voluntary-redundancy; oh-my-god-i-can't-wait-to-get-out-of-this-place - etcetera etcetera etcetera! So, I am now not surprised I have not posted anything in hindsight!
So, here I am some six weeks later and boy has my life changed again (this does seem to be a recurring theme eh). I am now waiting til 14th April when I get served my three months' notice, so have been job hunting for the past few weeks. There seems to be alot of work out there but in my seven year stint with this place I have forgottenwhat a ballsache job hunting is! In that you have to apply for 75 jobs to get 6 interviews out of which you may get 1 call back... I have however redone my CV (according to some online guru who charged me a tenner to say my original one was crap, I was initially high affronted but re-did the thing anyway, then submitted it under a false name and my next tenner returned me the statement 'your cv looks very good' so hopefully I got something right!) and as of this week have started selecting decent local companies I would like to work for and will start sending them my details on spec as of next week.
I have also got back into Running (thanks to Di M) and have done two races in ten days! Both 5 milers, really enjoyed them to the extent I have possibly gone completely mad and entered the Chippenham Half Marathon on 14th September!!! So hopefully Ger will be offering showers and lunch and maybe we can all together on the evening of 14th to celebrate our (hopeful!) race completion and my birthday which is as you all know on 19th.... let me know your thoughts.
My social life has also improved, I have been out 3 times in recent weeks and we have a big works do tomorrow night for the 20 people who have already left, at the Club so I am very excited to be Spending An Evening at the Workingmens Club! Another first...
So, despite all the ups and downs and the threat of no job in 12 weeks, I am happy! The cats are fine and dandy too, growing like mad and have acquired the not-so-delightful habit of bringing me gifts regularly of dead birds which I am not encouraging but they do seem to be very good at this sport! We started off with a blue tit, then went straight up through the ranks to a pigeon, and have now settled on blackbirds as the breed of choice. (It is quite amazing just how much blood a blackbird contains). Bless em.
The garden is looking good too, I have planted honeysuckles, lavendars, saxifrages, hydrangeas, mallow, herbs, rhododendron, buddleia and heathers as well as made my top front lawn circular, so a real Charlie Dimmock in the making (chest aside) (and hair).
I have also been awarded my annual bonus (nice one!) which I have spent approximately 1.25 times (I spent all of it in 2007, cleared all debts and have since treated myself to a new sofa and some new clothes, I deserved SOMETHING this year !!)... and what the hell, you only get made redundant once (she says hopefully!).
So.....a mixed bag but 80% good stuff I think. Hope the same for you lot! I can't wait for next Thursday and our Big Night Out, please bring your diaries so we can get the date set for my Swindon Leaving Do in July (week one). My Stanlow Leaving Do will be week two of course! Take care have great weekends and 'see you next week' ! Love me xxxx
So, here I am some six weeks later and boy has my life changed again (this does seem to be a recurring theme eh). I am now waiting til 14th April when I get served my three months' notice, so have been job hunting for the past few weeks. There seems to be alot of work out there but in my seven year stint with this place I have forgottenwhat a ballsache job hunting is! In that you have to apply for 75 jobs to get 6 interviews out of which you may get 1 call back... I have however redone my CV (according to some online guru who charged me a tenner to say my original one was crap, I was initially high affronted but re-did the thing anyway, then submitted it under a false name and my next tenner returned me the statement 'your cv looks very good' so hopefully I got something right!) and as of this week have started selecting decent local companies I would like to work for and will start sending them my details on spec as of next week.
I have also got back into Running (thanks to Di M) and have done two races in ten days! Both 5 milers, really enjoyed them to the extent I have possibly gone completely mad and entered the Chippenham Half Marathon on 14th September!!! So hopefully Ger will be offering showers and lunch and maybe we can all together on the evening of 14th to celebrate our (hopeful!) race completion and my birthday which is as you all know on 19th.... let me know your thoughts.
My social life has also improved, I have been out 3 times in recent weeks and we have a big works do tomorrow night for the 20 people who have already left, at the Club so I am very excited to be Spending An Evening at the Workingmens Club! Another first...
So, despite all the ups and downs and the threat of no job in 12 weeks, I am happy! The cats are fine and dandy too, growing like mad and have acquired the not-so-delightful habit of bringing me gifts regularly of dead birds which I am not encouraging but they do seem to be very good at this sport! We started off with a blue tit, then went straight up through the ranks to a pigeon, and have now settled on blackbirds as the breed of choice. (It is quite amazing just how much blood a blackbird contains). Bless em.
The garden is looking good too, I have planted honeysuckles, lavendars, saxifrages, hydrangeas, mallow, herbs, rhododendron, buddleia and heathers as well as made my top front lawn circular, so a real Charlie Dimmock in the making (chest aside) (and hair).
I have also been awarded my annual bonus (nice one!) which I have spent approximately 1.25 times (I spent all of it in 2007, cleared all debts and have since treated myself to a new sofa and some new clothes, I deserved SOMETHING this year !!)... and what the hell, you only get made redundant once (she says hopefully!).
So.....a mixed bag but 80% good stuff I think. Hope the same for you lot! I can't wait for next Thursday and our Big Night Out, please bring your diaries so we can get the date set for my Swindon Leaving Do in July (week one). My Stanlow Leaving Do will be week two of course! Take care have great weekends and 'see you next week' ! Love me xxxx
Sunday, February 17, 2008
A Relaxing Day in the Garden
Greetings friends. It is Sunday, late afternoon, and we have had the best weather this weekend for yonks - glorious sunny days coupled with savagely cold nights so you wake up to sunlight on hoar frost, just gorgeous! So gorgeous in fact I gleefully abandoned all 'indoor' jobs (indoor = any location not outside - house, Sainsburys, Independant Financial Advisors, etc etc etc) and Took To The Garden. Now for those of you lucky people who have been to my house, you will know that although I don't own acres, I do have three gardens - 2 terraces at the front and a yard at the back. (NB the back yard was described as a 'split level paved patio area featuring displays of natural stone, with full-size shed' in the Estate Agents brochures...ok, it has some patio slabs and a bit of blue slate, there is a step and yes, I do indeed have a shed that is acually bigger than the back yard, but other that that, it is basically a yard!). Therefore I spent much time drinking tea standing alternately on the back step and the front step, pondering my land and wondering what I could do (that wouldn't cost a fortune) and which I would tackle first.
Well, Dylan and Thomas decided the priority area as we are now on Week 3 of co-habiting and if they don't start Going Outside More Often (to poop as well as burn off energy) we shall not be co-habiting for much longer. So, Tunnel Training #2 took place whilst I attacked the dodgy 'raised bed' area of the back yard which someone had basically built up (mostly out of broken paving slabs I discovered) around the v expensive and v nice yukka tree thing, stuck some log edging (have never been a fan but it does look ok when combined with slate), and then ruined by (a) covering it with white gravel (now so old it is tinged green) and (b) not planting anything in the raised bed bar one solitary daffodil which struggled its way through the perma-crust of green tinged gravel only to be annihalated by the cats! So this is now gravel free (added nicely to my aggregate garage area), has had some compost added and is now proudly playing host to a lavendar, rosemary, thyme and hebe plants! (And some cat poop which although sounds gross initially, believe you me the quicker they Do Their Business outside and not in a hideous litter tray the better, I am very Over Litter Tray Emptying, it is the worst form of lucky dip activity EVER!). So, vast improvement out back.
By this time it was 2pm on Sat and enthused by my success I tore round to the Front Garden and decided to Dig a Border in front of the house. This had four (of the obviously Bulk Purchase) paving slabs dug in on which the former owner stored her recycling bins, which I never understood cos this meant she had to trail through the house from the kitchen out the front door and half way across the lawn to put her empty wine bottle in the bin. Then every other Monday night she had to lug said recycling bin bacl across the lawn, and down 8 fairly massive steps in order for the recclying people to empty crack of dawn Tuesday. (To be fair it only seems to happen at the crack of dawn when I have forgotten to put them out Monday night. Every time i get organised they turn up about midday). I have since relocated bins to back yard and installed an inside temporary receptacle which saves all requirement to take rubbish outside (apart from once every other week when I drag wet bin in from outside, empty inside collection into it, and stagger down the 8 massive steps......!!). So, the paving slabs are suplus to requirements.
I casually bent down and tried to get a finger under the first slab - not happening. She had for once seemingly done a proper job and dug them in. So I returned with my garden fork and inserted a tine under the slab and casually lent on handle of fork. Nothing. No movement. So I lent a bit harder - nada. Finally, applying all my weight to the handle I finally achieved movement - the tine bent! 10 very cross minutes spent locating suitable hammer and banging tine vaguely back into line and I finally managed to heave the first slab out of the hole by inserting all four tines under it at once (lightbulb moment!). However, the minute I removed weight from fork the slab fell neatly nack into its slot. THis went on for some minutes until I managed to refine a complex manoeuvre in which I had to lift-then-push-forward-whilst-transferring-weight-from-both-legs-to-one-and-shoving-freed-foot-rapidly-under-raised-slab. Needless to say it was only by the fourth slab removal that I got the hang of just how high to raise the slab so as to avoid crushing injury to foot once fork released!
I now had a very uninspiring rectangle of mud with three sides of grass, four paving slabs that weighed a ton on my front step and many many pulled muscles. My neighbour at this appeared with a spindly ancient rusted cobwebby Mail Order type 'collasible trolley' contraption that she thought I could use to move the slabs. This seemed like a good idea until in my attemts to unfold the 'trolley' I managed to bend the main spar at least 45 degrees out of shape just by applying some slight pressure with my toe, I decided it probably wouldn't be up to the job, and hence I have what I am trying to persuade myself will be a nice 'plant step' on my front step (ie) a stack of four paving slabs. (However I am less concerned about this now as I have studied a number of front steps in the locality and this is a very common phenomenon. That was obviously some Bulk Purchase deal they had going a few years back!)
Gaining my second wind I attacked the mud and bits of grass with my fork and it turned over beautifully, it is lovely soil and I was instantly all enthused again - this is what gardening is all about, a few steps back are always offset by several more forward! So I decided I would cut out a path next to my new border crossing my lawn to accommodate the postman. Now I know this sounds a little bizarre, but our postman has perfected running across the top of all our lawns whilst flinging our mail vaguely in the direction of the letter box. This is obviously something he has been working on for many years because he has pretty much worn his own path across my lawn (now I understand why everyone else has gone for gravel) akin to an ancient badger trail. So I figured it would not be too much hassle to cut and roll the turf off a section prior to putting some slate down (I am now In To Slate - if you can't beat them and all that). So I started attacking the lawn. Needless to say the first two feet came up beautifully and I could have used the turf rolls in an turf roll advert. The next 45 feet were the hardest, stoniest, frozen-ist I could have encountered (the type of ground where your powerful thrust of shovel hits buried paving slab, jarring your wrists, forearms, elbows, upper arms, shoulders, teeth and skull simultaneously, and just as you are about to let rip loudly with a very choice swear word your elderly neighboiur pops back out to 'see how you are doing' so all you can is weakly gasp) and I eventually reached The Other Side about 2 hours later, sweating despite the sub-zero temperature, exhausted, covered in mud and grass and that peculiar sand stuff that buried paving slabs can turn into if struck often enough with a blunt shovel, and then all I had to do was manually transfer the apparent 10 tonne of turf 'bits' (gave up roll attempts about foot three) the measly strip of land I had cleared round to the back of my garage where my neighbour asked me to lay it so as to create a nice green area... have you ever moved turf bits? It weighs about 6 times more than its size would lead you to think...I started off filling a bucket but that was going to take hours, so I had the bright idea of dragging my wheelie bin round and using that as a tranfer vehicle. This was inspired - all 10 tonne thrown into bin in about 5 mins flat - until I came to move the bin - it was like the whole paving slab scenario re-bloody-visited!
I eventually dumped half the load back on the lawn, and did two runs with the wheelie bin (which interestingly each time I dragged it laden down the road, not a person was about, but each time I wheeld it back round empty and weightless the local gym kicked out and I was surrounded by burly men looking to help a damsel in distress. Typical) and then spent an aimless 40 minutes trying to piece together the bits into some sort of lawn. This was like knitting with grass, or completing a jigsaw with grass I guess - very hard to do but overly satisfying when you got a bit right! And it does look groovy behind the garage, although the minute I laid it it went straight back to looking like a few measly inches of lawn as oppose to the football field size it felt like to remove!
By this time it was dark, properly freezing and I was so tired I could barely put one foot in front of another. I put everything away, fed the cats (who had spent the whole afternoon sleeping off the tiring affect of their Morning Outside experience and were recharged to spend the night playing atg at 100mph round the house again, oh joy) and had the longest hottest bath which was of course agony as due to the sub zero temperatures I had inflicted many many injuries to my hands, feet, ankles, shins and thighs without apparently noticing, until that moment where you lower yourself into a steaming bath when it feels like you are being flayed alive with barbed wire - oooooouch! A substantial supper later (starving after all that work!) I retired to bed about 8.30 feeling as if I had gone 12 rounds with Ricky the Hit Man Hatton - so much for the gentle relaxing pasttime of gardening!
Needless to say I drove myself to Return To The Scene today and I have levelled-ish the path, laid 4 bags of plum slate (just 2 more needed!) and dug over the border again, so it is almost finished and does look much much better. If I ever get the enthusiasm to get the extra 2 bags of slate and lay them it will of course be a miracle, I now understand why the majority of slate paths/areas are a tad bare - the stuff weighs a ton and by the time you have got to the whole slate-laying activity, you are on your knees with exhaustion from the nightmare preparation of the area to be slated, and you frankly couldn't give a damn if it does have bare patches!!!
I am now off to have yet another bath to ease the aches of today's exertions before eating another substantial meal (weight loss through physical activity is not a feature of my genetic make up sadly) and falling into my bed at about 830 again no doubt! But it has been nice to put a little bit of me into my garden (my blood, my sweat, my tears, my flesh....) and the raised bed thing in the back yard looks fab from my kitchen window....however if that poxy postman doesn't use his new path I'll kill him! Love, a knackered gardener xxxxxxx
Well, Dylan and Thomas decided the priority area as we are now on Week 3 of co-habiting and if they don't start Going Outside More Often (to poop as well as burn off energy) we shall not be co-habiting for much longer. So, Tunnel Training #2 took place whilst I attacked the dodgy 'raised bed' area of the back yard which someone had basically built up (mostly out of broken paving slabs I discovered) around the v expensive and v nice yukka tree thing, stuck some log edging (have never been a fan but it does look ok when combined with slate), and then ruined by (a) covering it with white gravel (now so old it is tinged green) and (b) not planting anything in the raised bed bar one solitary daffodil which struggled its way through the perma-crust of green tinged gravel only to be annihalated by the cats! So this is now gravel free (added nicely to my aggregate garage area), has had some compost added and is now proudly playing host to a lavendar, rosemary, thyme and hebe plants! (And some cat poop which although sounds gross initially, believe you me the quicker they Do Their Business outside and not in a hideous litter tray the better, I am very Over Litter Tray Emptying, it is the worst form of lucky dip activity EVER!). So, vast improvement out back.
By this time it was 2pm on Sat and enthused by my success I tore round to the Front Garden and decided to Dig a Border in front of the house. This had four (of the obviously Bulk Purchase) paving slabs dug in on which the former owner stored her recycling bins, which I never understood cos this meant she had to trail through the house from the kitchen out the front door and half way across the lawn to put her empty wine bottle in the bin. Then every other Monday night she had to lug said recycling bin bacl across the lawn, and down 8 fairly massive steps in order for the recclying people to empty crack of dawn Tuesday. (To be fair it only seems to happen at the crack of dawn when I have forgotten to put them out Monday night. Every time i get organised they turn up about midday). I have since relocated bins to back yard and installed an inside temporary receptacle which saves all requirement to take rubbish outside (apart from once every other week when I drag wet bin in from outside, empty inside collection into it, and stagger down the 8 massive steps......!!). So, the paving slabs are suplus to requirements.
I casually bent down and tried to get a finger under the first slab - not happening. She had for once seemingly done a proper job and dug them in. So I returned with my garden fork and inserted a tine under the slab and casually lent on handle of fork. Nothing. No movement. So I lent a bit harder - nada. Finally, applying all my weight to the handle I finally achieved movement - the tine bent! 10 very cross minutes spent locating suitable hammer and banging tine vaguely back into line and I finally managed to heave the first slab out of the hole by inserting all four tines under it at once (lightbulb moment!). However, the minute I removed weight from fork the slab fell neatly nack into its slot. THis went on for some minutes until I managed to refine a complex manoeuvre in which I had to lift-then-push-forward-whilst-transferring-weight-from-both-legs-to-one-and-shoving-freed-foot-rapidly-under-raised-slab. Needless to say it was only by the fourth slab removal that I got the hang of just how high to raise the slab so as to avoid crushing injury to foot once fork released!
I now had a very uninspiring rectangle of mud with three sides of grass, four paving slabs that weighed a ton on my front step and many many pulled muscles. My neighbour at this appeared with a spindly ancient rusted cobwebby Mail Order type 'collasible trolley' contraption that she thought I could use to move the slabs. This seemed like a good idea until in my attemts to unfold the 'trolley' I managed to bend the main spar at least 45 degrees out of shape just by applying some slight pressure with my toe, I decided it probably wouldn't be up to the job, and hence I have what I am trying to persuade myself will be a nice 'plant step' on my front step (ie) a stack of four paving slabs. (However I am less concerned about this now as I have studied a number of front steps in the locality and this is a very common phenomenon. That was obviously some Bulk Purchase deal they had going a few years back!)
Gaining my second wind I attacked the mud and bits of grass with my fork and it turned over beautifully, it is lovely soil and I was instantly all enthused again - this is what gardening is all about, a few steps back are always offset by several more forward! So I decided I would cut out a path next to my new border crossing my lawn to accommodate the postman. Now I know this sounds a little bizarre, but our postman has perfected running across the top of all our lawns whilst flinging our mail vaguely in the direction of the letter box. This is obviously something he has been working on for many years because he has pretty much worn his own path across my lawn (now I understand why everyone else has gone for gravel) akin to an ancient badger trail. So I figured it would not be too much hassle to cut and roll the turf off a section prior to putting some slate down (I am now In To Slate - if you can't beat them and all that). So I started attacking the lawn. Needless to say the first two feet came up beautifully and I could have used the turf rolls in an turf roll advert. The next 45 feet were the hardest, stoniest, frozen-ist I could have encountered (the type of ground where your powerful thrust of shovel hits buried paving slab, jarring your wrists, forearms, elbows, upper arms, shoulders, teeth and skull simultaneously, and just as you are about to let rip loudly with a very choice swear word your elderly neighboiur pops back out to 'see how you are doing' so all you can is weakly gasp) and I eventually reached The Other Side about 2 hours later, sweating despite the sub-zero temperature, exhausted, covered in mud and grass and that peculiar sand stuff that buried paving slabs can turn into if struck often enough with a blunt shovel, and then all I had to do was manually transfer the apparent 10 tonne of turf 'bits' (gave up roll attempts about foot three) the measly strip of land I had cleared round to the back of my garage where my neighbour asked me to lay it so as to create a nice green area... have you ever moved turf bits? It weighs about 6 times more than its size would lead you to think...I started off filling a bucket but that was going to take hours, so I had the bright idea of dragging my wheelie bin round and using that as a tranfer vehicle. This was inspired - all 10 tonne thrown into bin in about 5 mins flat - until I came to move the bin - it was like the whole paving slab scenario re-bloody-visited!
I eventually dumped half the load back on the lawn, and did two runs with the wheelie bin (which interestingly each time I dragged it laden down the road, not a person was about, but each time I wheeld it back round empty and weightless the local gym kicked out and I was surrounded by burly men looking to help a damsel in distress. Typical) and then spent an aimless 40 minutes trying to piece together the bits into some sort of lawn. This was like knitting with grass, or completing a jigsaw with grass I guess - very hard to do but overly satisfying when you got a bit right! And it does look groovy behind the garage, although the minute I laid it it went straight back to looking like a few measly inches of lawn as oppose to the football field size it felt like to remove!
By this time it was dark, properly freezing and I was so tired I could barely put one foot in front of another. I put everything away, fed the cats (who had spent the whole afternoon sleeping off the tiring affect of their Morning Outside experience and were recharged to spend the night playing atg at 100mph round the house again, oh joy) and had the longest hottest bath which was of course agony as due to the sub zero temperatures I had inflicted many many injuries to my hands, feet, ankles, shins and thighs without apparently noticing, until that moment where you lower yourself into a steaming bath when it feels like you are being flayed alive with barbed wire - oooooouch! A substantial supper later (starving after all that work!) I retired to bed about 8.30 feeling as if I had gone 12 rounds with Ricky the Hit Man Hatton - so much for the gentle relaxing pasttime of gardening!
Needless to say I drove myself to Return To The Scene today and I have levelled-ish the path, laid 4 bags of plum slate (just 2 more needed!) and dug over the border again, so it is almost finished and does look much much better. If I ever get the enthusiasm to get the extra 2 bags of slate and lay them it will of course be a miracle, I now understand why the majority of slate paths/areas are a tad bare - the stuff weighs a ton and by the time you have got to the whole slate-laying activity, you are on your knees with exhaustion from the nightmare preparation of the area to be slated, and you frankly couldn't give a damn if it does have bare patches!!!
I am now off to have yet another bath to ease the aches of today's exertions before eating another substantial meal (weight loss through physical activity is not a feature of my genetic make up sadly) and falling into my bed at about 830 again no doubt! But it has been nice to put a little bit of me into my garden (my blood, my sweat, my tears, my flesh....) and the raised bed thing in the back yard looks fab from my kitchen window....however if that poxy postman doesn't use his new path I'll kill him! Love, a knackered gardener xxxxxxx
Friday, February 8, 2008
Uncomfortable Shoes
Hello all, apologies for leaving it almost a month between posts! Not sure what happened to the last 4 weeks (echos of last post ' what happened to the past 10 days' I know) but somehow they have passed in a flash....one weekend of course taken up with ChesterFest which was Absolutely Superb, thank you so much for making it a real Weekend To Remember! I have not laughed so much before or since for a long while, it was just the coolest. Can't wait for LiverFest now!!
Plus my two new housemates, Dylan and Thomas, moved in, who are of the feline species and who are as we speak playing 'tag' up and down the stairs at 100mph which will end any minute in a punch up which Thomas will win, but then he will be beset by guilt at hurting Dylan and will retreat into the sofa for the next 2 hours ... just like children! They are very groovy and make me laugh lots and I would not be without them now, even though they have only been here 2 weeks. And despite the fact they are costing me a small fortune in Felix and Hills Science Diet food. Not to mention the £200 investment in the world's most advanced Cat Tunnel that I had to have installed through my kitchen wall so they stand a small chance of surviving at least their first foray Outside! Which incidentally is planned for tomorrow. I am half looking forward to them being 'natural cats' and being able to entertain themsleves by slaying small animals and socialising with the local felines, and equally terrifiedthey will get squashed within about 3 mins of being let out in which case I shall (a) be distraught and (b) unable to face Gina ever again!
As soon as I have mastered the art of digital photos I will try and put some on here for you. Not that I harbour any desires to become 'please look at these pictures of my cats' (because from that point you are literally one step away from wearing Comfortable Shoes and thus may as well have a sign outside your house saying 'I have no friends, am socially inadeqaute and bat for the other side'), but because they are a fine looking pair and it will be nice for you all to see them just once. (If I do start to Go On about them it is your duty as my friends to put a stop to it)!
No other news really, work is craaaaaaazy at the mo, I unoffically-officially start the new job Monday, officially start sometime in April I think! By which time I will either have vaguely mastered the basics and be ok, or I will have totally collapsed under the pressure of trying to even vaguely master the basics in which case I'll be watching lots of daytime tv... No, it should be good, it is just a bit of a major learning curve - character building as my Dad would say!
On which note I am going to sign off as it is Friday and thus the weekend, yippee! Time for a celebratory glass of vino. Have fun all and I wil try my hardest to post something more interesting in the next few days as oppose to weeks......
Plus my two new housemates, Dylan and Thomas, moved in, who are of the feline species and who are as we speak playing 'tag' up and down the stairs at 100mph which will end any minute in a punch up which Thomas will win, but then he will be beset by guilt at hurting Dylan and will retreat into the sofa for the next 2 hours ... just like children! They are very groovy and make me laugh lots and I would not be without them now, even though they have only been here 2 weeks. And despite the fact they are costing me a small fortune in Felix and Hills Science Diet food. Not to mention the £200 investment in the world's most advanced Cat Tunnel that I had to have installed through my kitchen wall so they stand a small chance of surviving at least their first foray Outside! Which incidentally is planned for tomorrow. I am half looking forward to them being 'natural cats' and being able to entertain themsleves by slaying small animals and socialising with the local felines, and equally terrifiedthey will get squashed within about 3 mins of being let out in which case I shall (a) be distraught and (b) unable to face Gina ever again!
As soon as I have mastered the art of digital photos I will try and put some on here for you. Not that I harbour any desires to become 'please look at these pictures of my cats' (because from that point you are literally one step away from wearing Comfortable Shoes and thus may as well have a sign outside your house saying 'I have no friends, am socially inadeqaute and bat for the other side'), but because they are a fine looking pair and it will be nice for you all to see them just once. (If I do start to Go On about them it is your duty as my friends to put a stop to it)!
No other news really, work is craaaaaaazy at the mo, I unoffically-officially start the new job Monday, officially start sometime in April I think! By which time I will either have vaguely mastered the basics and be ok, or I will have totally collapsed under the pressure of trying to even vaguely master the basics in which case I'll be watching lots of daytime tv... No, it should be good, it is just a bit of a major learning curve - character building as my Dad would say!
On which note I am going to sign off as it is Friday and thus the weekend, yippee! Time for a celebratory glass of vino. Have fun all and I wil try my hardest to post something more interesting in the next few days as oppose to weeks......
Thursday, January 10, 2008
How the hell can it be January 10th already?
Hello all, Happy New Year!
I know it is a bit late to be wishing you that but I just do not know where the last 3 weeks have gone! I cannot believe it is the 10th already, not helped by the fact I spent all day thinking it was only the 9th. This old age lark can really take its toll!
I so can't wait for it to be Friday tomorrow, this first 5 day week (for some 5 weeks for me) has been A Killer. I am exhausted! And don't seem to have actually achieved much in work beyond got more and more terrified at the amount of work I have to do, very soon! I seem to have lost the ability to actually DO something, I just seem to spend all day thinking that I must do this and I must do that, then before you know it is is 4pm and home time! (How I love Supplyc Chain - 9-5? No thank you!)
I have however Been Brave and Looked At My Finances, which completely finished any idea of Going On The Wagon - too depressing by far to handle sober! I knew I had been a bit reckless with the old cash recently but what I had failed to consider was the Very Real Fact that my two year fixed interest rate on my mortgage expires in March, meaning I move from 4.65% to 7.295!!! Ouch. This is going to hurt a bit I fear. I may even have to cancel my Bupa membership to fund my wine habit! (There are limits. I refuse to abstain from alcohol purely for financial reasons, that is just ridiculous).
So, one belt being tightened as we speak. Though for those attending ChesterFest, fear not, I am allowed One Big Weekend every two-three months and this one is it! Plus luckily I won the Bonus Ball two weeks on the trot so I can even run to A New Top. Very exciting! (I know I bought loads in Vegas but they were Day Wear tops, not night. I have checked.)
I have just read my Vegas posts actually and had already forgotten lots of the stupid little things that made me laugh, so I am really glad I have this to refer back to, especially as I have been wholly unsuccessful in getting access to any of the photos the other 20 people took!
I had better go as my battery is about to go and I cannot be arsed to go upstairs to get the power lead - sorry! Can't WAIT for next weekend (being ChesterFest), someone please bring a camera and please email me the photos after! Have good weekends all and see you next weekend!
Lots of love, me xxxx
I know it is a bit late to be wishing you that but I just do not know where the last 3 weeks have gone! I cannot believe it is the 10th already, not helped by the fact I spent all day thinking it was only the 9th. This old age lark can really take its toll!
I so can't wait for it to be Friday tomorrow, this first 5 day week (for some 5 weeks for me) has been A Killer. I am exhausted! And don't seem to have actually achieved much in work beyond got more and more terrified at the amount of work I have to do, very soon! I seem to have lost the ability to actually DO something, I just seem to spend all day thinking that I must do this and I must do that, then before you know it is is 4pm and home time! (How I love Supplyc Chain - 9-5? No thank you!)
I have however Been Brave and Looked At My Finances, which completely finished any idea of Going On The Wagon - too depressing by far to handle sober! I knew I had been a bit reckless with the old cash recently but what I had failed to consider was the Very Real Fact that my two year fixed interest rate on my mortgage expires in March, meaning I move from 4.65% to 7.295!!! Ouch. This is going to hurt a bit I fear. I may even have to cancel my Bupa membership to fund my wine habit! (There are limits. I refuse to abstain from alcohol purely for financial reasons, that is just ridiculous).
So, one belt being tightened as we speak. Though for those attending ChesterFest, fear not, I am allowed One Big Weekend every two-three months and this one is it! Plus luckily I won the Bonus Ball two weeks on the trot so I can even run to A New Top. Very exciting! (I know I bought loads in Vegas but they were Day Wear tops, not night. I have checked.)
I have just read my Vegas posts actually and had already forgotten lots of the stupid little things that made me laugh, so I am really glad I have this to refer back to, especially as I have been wholly unsuccessful in getting access to any of the photos the other 20 people took!
I had better go as my battery is about to go and I cannot be arsed to go upstairs to get the power lead - sorry! Can't WAIT for next weekend (being ChesterFest), someone please bring a camera and please email me the photos after! Have good weekends all and see you next weekend!
Lots of love, me xxxx
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